Do you want to conquer performance nerves and be able to deliver on the day? The Big Match? The tournment? To win that cup?
It takes great discipline and many hours of training and practice to become an excellent sportsperson so that’s why it can be soul-destroying to know you have all the abilities but fail to deliver when it counts.
Despite your best abilities you may be unconsciously hypnotising yourself to fail.
So what lets you down and what can you do?
- Nerves and anxiety. On the big day there is more at stake. There may be the chance of promotion or relegation, cups, prize money, fame and fortune as well as the thrill of being on top of that leader board. For many that can increase anxiety and stress.
- Internal dialogue which reminds you of the last time you missed a shot, past humiliations, expectations of losing, conclusions you’ve made about yourself ‘I’ve got a weak backhand/I miss goals when it really counts’ and so on. It may be other people’s discouraging remarks that you’ve absorbed and come to belief.
- Fear of standing out, fear of the pressure of future expectations of you to consistently win, fear of jealousy and attack (the tall poppy syndrome), or of losing friendships
- Maybe needing to embrace a different side of yourself, a side you don’t naturally use such as perseverance, stamina, a more aggressive streak if it’s a competitive tough sport, or conversely be a team-player if it’s a team sport, the ability to keep going despite knockbacks and so on
These are just a few reasons and there can be many other underlying reasons why it can feel unsafe, impossible or just plain wrong to excel at something you, at least at a conscious level want to achieve.
Of course you may not be at all interested in competitive sport. You may simply wish to enjoy doing some activity and wish to get better at it to increase that enjoyment and feel frustrated that you can’t make any progress.
So let me give you some tips:
Tap out your blocks
Close your eyes and imagine yourself playing that sport or doing that activity. Start from the time you go about getting ready for that playing, packing your kit, travelling to the match or sports centre, getting changed and so on until you feel any particular anxiety or negativity.
Stop at that point and tune into your body. Are there butterflies in your stomach, racing heart, tightness or restriction, a negative voice nagging you that you are a loser, do you get a flash of your last defeat. Note that and give the intensity it creates for you a number between 0-10 – your personal score of discomfort.
Describe it in some way eg fluttering in my chest. Or you may have a memory or image come to mind – the last time you lost a race and felt dejected or somebody’s harsh words or jeering in your head.
Tap on the side of your hand with the fingers of the other hand and say ‘Even though… and then your description of your particular discomfort eg Even though I have this fluttering in my chest I accept myself/I’m still a great tennis player/golfer etc (whatever feels good for you).
Then take a reminder phrase eg fluttering in my chest as you tap lightly on the following points: top of the head, edge of the eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, upper lip, lower lip, collarbone and under your arm (4 inches from your armpit).
Then check back in to your body. Has that feeling changed? It may have lessened, it may have changed in some way so adjust the statement to reflect that. When you feel ok with that particular aspect move on and see other parts of that activity and repeat the process until you can feel more comfortable with the entire scene you are imagining. Go through it again for good measure.
See yourself winning a match, a race and note whether there is any discomfort or disbelief associated with that and repeat the above process until you feel ok. Imagine a vivid scenario of you winning or achieving what is important for you.
Put your right hand out and imagine projecting a picture of you achieving your goal on to that hand. Experience it with as many of your senses as possible. Then bring your hand up and raise your eyes to look at that image. Breathe life into your image and then bring your hand down to your heart, breathe in and imagine taking all the energy of that image into your heart.
Bring in some extra resources:
One very common scenario is being able to perform really well except when it counts on the Big Day. Close your eyes and imagine yourself performing well as vividly as you can. If possible give a name to that feeling. Make that imagined experience as strong as you can, breathe into it and then bring a thumb and index finger together as you say the name you gave it. This is creating a positive anchor for you.
Reinforce it by releasing your finger and thumb, taking three breaths and bringing them back together again with the name of that resourceful feeling. Repeat that a few times, suggesting to yourself that it will get stronger each time. When it feels like a strong powerful anchor use it by once more imagining the scenario which was challenging for you previously and re-imagining it with this new helpful energy as you hold your thumb and index finger together.
Practice that a few times until it feels like you have integrated this new resourceful state so that you feel able to go beyond your previous limitations.
Bring in some resources from other areas of your life
Close your eyes and tune into your inner wisdom and ask what resourceful energies you would need to achieve the results you desire – that could be strength, confidence, endurance, conviction, self-belief, breakthrough etc. Then contact an area of your life where that quality is present, no matter how unrelated it might feel. Connect to that state, amplify it as before, create an anchor as before. You may find it more powerful to choose a number of these inner resources and anchor one after the other and then combine them to give yourself a ‘power cocktail’ that you can then integrate to give you a much more empowered response to the area which previously challenged you.
Studies have shown that our imagination is extremely powerful so that if we imagine playing a sport the same muscle will fire off. So imagining yourself playing with confidence, strength determination, flare, accuracy or whatever your sport requires, combined with physical training will let you get the most out of your game.
Please try these tips for yourself and see how they work for you and if you feel like some extra non-physical coaching then please get in touch with me either through my website: www.maggiepashley..com or email me at maggiepashley@gmail.com.
